On Thursday 12th September 2024, the ignorant huns shall once again descend upon Coventry to show the natives what "Blitz" means as there will be a full get-together of the (sigh) "Krew" of the electrical industry.
Y'see, the literal translation of "blitz" is "lightning", and as we're all electricians, it's not wholly inappropriate and can be seen as actually quite apt, no? So, for one night only, we sparks are gonna party like it's 1939, albeit seated atop the correct side of history, puffing away on a smoky phat one with the warmongering greats... Churchill.., Montgomery.., Farage...
Okay, maybe not.. and nearly eighty years later, the lessons of the past have surely been learned with the far right properly put in their place, so we norms can fuck off for a curry without any of us geddin' into a fight, so be sure to rock up ready to piss onto the new white trainers of elites like...
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Thursday 12th September 2024, 19:00 hours at De Laban in Coventry where we'll have a right, royal sparky knees-up! Good food, good booze, good location... good grief, what could possibly go wrong?! After all, Bert and Ernie from Electrician's Podcast will be present and pumping it... LARGE!
...probably not; the daddy of all electrical YouTubers is a busy man. Nonetheless, here's a "who's nobody" of liars, cads and mouth-breathers who are all pretending they will appear for this event... although who knows if the following stingy pricks will actually show up..?
| Named mincer: | Confirmed in? | Notes for venue: | ||
| John Weafer [Faultless Electrical] | Y | |||
| Fat Sam [Electrician's Podcast] | Y | |||
| Linda Meth [dses.uk] | Y | |||
| John Ballbag [JB Tech Installations] | Y | |||
| Libby [Azzuri Electrical] | Y | |||
| Mrs Libby [Azzuri Electrical] | Y | |||
| Antoni Oborny [ALO Electrical & Security] | Y | |||
| Francesca [Azzuri Electrical] | Y | |||
| Jamie Blatant [The Information Torpedo] | Y | Shellfish and seafood allergy | ||
| Kimmy [Kimmy the Sparks] | Y | |||
| Gio diCampest - the Chilli Slayer! | Y | |||
| Jay Harding [Jay the Spark] | Y | |||
| Dan Holliday [DMH] | - | Can't attend | ||
| Andrew Brown [A. J. Brown Electrical] | Y | |||
| Ricky Byrne [Byrne Electrical] | Y | Seafood and noncey mushroom allergy | ||
| Kevin Smith [HDT] | Y | |||
| Julian Grant [Chauvin Arnoux] | Y | |||
| Rochel Lewis [Chauvin Arnoux] | Y | |||
| Elliot Ajose [Chauvin Arnoux] | Y | |||
| Michael Stott [East Renewables] | Y | |||
| Jason Bacor [MER] | Y | |||
| Aaron Nobbs [Aaron Nobbs Electrical] | Y | |||
| Alan Chan [alanchan_86] | Y | Pistachio nuts, cashews & almonds | ||
| Will Winter [Navitas] | Y | |||
| Jay [Navitas] | Y | |||
| Jimbo the Electrician | Y | |||
| Craig Gifford [Gifford's Electrical] | Y | |||
| Ryan Fuller [RLF Vacuum Cleaners] | Y | |||
| John Wright | - | Has announced he's a dirty quitter | ||
| Craig Buist [Apprentice 1-2-1] | - | No longer attending Elex | ||
| Steven French [The Water Sparky] | Y | |||
| Callum Crawford [Trade Mastermind] | Y | |||
| Paul Teakle [WWEC Ltd.] | Y | |||
| Mark Allison [Renewables Podcast / Apprentice 1-2-1 / PowerSonic] | N | Powersonic boi's might have a hotter date | ||
| Matthew Allison [Powersonic] | N | |||
| Murray "show us your Megger" Macgowan | Y | |||
| Ashley Pearson [Sedgley Control Systems] | Y | |||
| Anonymous Mark Eastwood | Y | |||
| Marceli Filipowicz [Mars Electrical] | Y | |||
| Sammi Gray-Jones | Y | |||
| Ria Gray-Jones | Y | |||
| Tom Ireson | - | Also a dirty quitter | ||
| Luke Jones [Highland Electrical] | Y | Cherries and apples... da fuq??! | ||
| Matthew Orledge [Ledge Approved] | Y | |||
| Andy Kearl | Y | |||
| Gary Griffiths | Y | |||
| Stephanie Queen | Y | |||
| Jack Campion | Y | |||
| Marcel Thompson | Y | |||
| Rory Cordell | Y | |||
| Osvaldas Milasius | Y | |||
| Sam Featherstone (Oval Renewables) | Y | |||
| Jordon Ludlam | Y | |||
| Savo the Magnificent and his amazing jugglable balls* | Y | |||
| *An exclusive after event for plus-size women only |
It's first paid, first served, and if the punters hit the max occupancy, then Big Tex and Vince 'the Bastard' will turn away excess scum and/or losers at the house door by bouncing 'em off the nearest kerbstone (or the bonnet of a Ford Fiesta/Nissan Juke if parked in front of such). We start at 19:00, so turn up fashionably late and the rest of us will be wiping the korma off our shirts as we won't be hanging around politely waiting for latecomers!
Here's how it works. You fork over twenty quid to Jamie who promises not to run off with all our money*. On the night, this covers your food - whatever from the menu**, up to three courses, drinks excluded. No refunds, no change. Didn't turn up because you bumped into the eFixx lads on the day and they invited you to get pissed somewhere with hookers on Tradify's coin? Tough tits, the restaurant still gets your twenty. Not hungry and only fancy a starter? Tough tits, the restaurant still gets your twenty. Your boifriend only gives you a small allowance and wants to see some change? Tough tits, the restaurant still gets your twenty. The twenty is a 'seat' charge - it's the price of entry and it covers your grub. It's up to you to turn up and nosh down on it like a hungry prostitute in the back of a minicab.
Name not on the list? Don't take it personally, it's a dynamic process and the point of this page is to start tying things together. You can be added using the link at the bottom of this page.
My man Islam is a genial host with hard working staff, smashing grub, and a fine dining establishment. He's also one of us; an on-the-tools working spark running MNI Electrical in Coventry by day and the restaurant by night. Additionally, some scrote did his van recently and made off with his Megger and other gear... THE BASTARDS!
Top bloke. Him on the right that is.
As such, behaviour among the (sigh) "Krew"... is to be ribald and fun - but nothing out-of-order will be tolerated by the wider clique. Anyone who gets shirty with Islam and his team is getting shirty with the rest of us and will feel the righteous wrath of the (Krew)munity. Don't get bounced Blatant-style by being a ballache...
If your name still needs adding to the list and/or you're ready to cough up the green, simply pass through the human verification (anti-plumber) process below which will open a Monzo link in another tab that's administered by Jamie (debit card only I'm afraid):
Those not pre-paid won't get a confirmed reservation and will have to pay the restaurant face value on the night for any grub scoffed (if the restaurant can accommodate them).
Please advise on any allergies or intolerences when paying and be sure to confirm with the restaurant at the time of ordering. You can give us the heads-up on such by emailing
* You should receive an email receipt for your payment, however please allow some time for this website to be updated. It's not automated and may be delayed by some hours.
** Certain items may be excluded from the menu on the night.
The £20 option is for pre-paid reservations only. Anyone turning up on the night will be responsible for covering their own meal costs at face value from the menu.
Some of the above named may be a no-show for whatever reason, so sorry if you wanted to slap John Ballbag and it turns out he can't get there.